So today is officially a week that I've been trying like crazy to quit smoking. I am sorry to say that not a day has gone by that I didn't have at least one cigarette. However there are small victories like I haven't smoked in my car in a week. That's surprising because it's the only place I can smoke that isn't outside and freezing. I have battled the demon through the morning hours (even on Saturday and Sunday) and on all week days until at least 6pm. Not bad for a girl that would normally have 9-10 cigarettes by then. And I went to a party last Saturday night...and it just so happened that most of my friends there smoked. I managed to make it through the party and only had 7 cigarettes. That's really good for me...party means probably close to a pack. So there are small victories.
I did get a call from my Quit Coach last Friday. She wanted to know how the Quit was going. After a short laugh I told her. Then she did something really surprising...she suggested I re-evaluate the way I was quitting. I guess that was kind of vague...let me explain. The first time I tried to quit, I was in a smoking cessation class at my work. The woman who ran the class (teacher if you will) was very upbeat, positive and great at trying to get us motivated, but you could tell the woman had never picked up a cigarette a day in her life. And when I messed up my quit day that time, I got the "Well, that's ok, but you really should try harder. Let's set a new quit day for tomorrow." Even though in no way shape or form did this woman mean to make me feel like a failure...I still kind of did. I mean it was like when I was little and I would mess something up so I just had to keep doing it over and over again until I got it right. I don't mind doing it over and over again IF I feel like I'm getting the hang of it a little bit better each time.
On Friday, when I told my Quit Coach about how many cigarettes I had had on my quit day and since, she never once made me feel like it was a bad thing. It was almost like, "Wow! You usually have a pack a day and you only had three!? Good Job!" I mean there was a lot of understanding there and I surely didn't feel like I had failed. So we decided that maybe I try to only have three cigarettes a day later and later in the day each day this week. Then next week it's two cigarettes a day and then the following week, it's only one. Then we try the Quit day again.
This plan I feel like I can handle. The "Quit-Cold-Turkey" was a surprise attack for me. I didn't think that cigarettes had that much hold on me. But I will tell you that the jitters are better. Other folks still notice that I'm a little restless, like I rock when I stand, or I tap my foot or what-not, but I don't feel restless. That's a step in a very positive direction.
My Quit Coach is suppose to call me around Feb. 12 again. This time I think I'll have even better news for her.